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I would like to get some opinions on this problem: I live in cork, Ireland, learned tribal style bellydance for almost 5 years from an american teacher - a great person and the only bellydance teacher in the whole county! Before this I did flamenco and romany dance (I was raised by a romani family) and was teaching other creative things. For about a year I was helping her as an assistant teacher but couldn't share all of her creative ideas 9which to me is no problem). This year I started teaching my own classes in Cork and its going really well. I love it and both of us have our own style and many many students. But my teacher doesn't want to even talk to me! She says she feels betrayed (I swear I din't do or say anything bad! I just want to teach my own classes!) and even though I keep inviting her to haflas and trying to make contact (well, I admit I kind of gave up since a while), she doesn't want to know. It has gone so far that students who want to try out my classes do it secretly, asking me not to tell her! It's like there is a tribal war! it's so silly because all our students could benefit so much from our different styles and do haflas together! It feels quite sad! There is so little of these kind of things going on here anyway but lots of interest, I would love to network more but I don't know anymore how to approach this. (I know, it sounds like a dear-doctor-letter, sorry about this...). Any thoughts?
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Re: Competitive teacher
Sun, December 5, 2004 - 2:39 PMSome people don't understand "community" and they confuse it with "competition". Anyway competition isn't bad either, it makes you strive to be better. Sounds like she doesn't want to strive, and you have given students the opportunity to become better by bringing them the knowledge that you had before you ever met her.
On the other hand, did you try to offer teaching a class with her, a collaborative effort? So that she can see your different approach and that it will benefit her students? Sounds like she wouldn't be open to it, but you might try. Continue to continue, and it's her loss if she does not want to be a part of a community.
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Re: Competitive teacher
Wed, December 8, 2004 - 9:53 AMHi Sandra - you sound like you are a considerate person with great intentions. Here's a question: I'm wondering if you talked to your teacher about teaching classes *before* you started them? If not, in some arenas this can be construed as disrespectful. I know several amazing belly dancers who never taught in towns their teachers did for this very reason - and to honor their teacher's contribution to the community. On the other side of the coin, it doesn't sound like your teacher was completely comfortable with a mentor relationship even though she set it up that way by making you an assistant. I think the bottom line is that if your teacher feels betrayed and you care about that relationship, it's important to hear her out even if you think she's wrong or unreasonable. Chances are if you discover an amends needs to be made on your part and you do so, she may be more responsive to you, and who knows, she may even make an amends of her own toward you. Hope that helps - good luck! -
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Re: Competitive teacher
Wed, December 8, 2004 - 12:18 PMGood thoughts Faun, thanks, I did talk to her a lot before setting up classes. Many times and (what I think) with a lot of respect. I tried many times to make her feel comfortable, inviting her to haflas and shows, sending her students and crediting her as my teacher in every brochure (I have to admit that the effort has waned since then, I guess I just have to live with it). My concern now is that there are so many students involved sho would benefit from a colaboration. I have a good network with other dancers and performers and its great! I don't know if it is better to just live with it or to try again to reach her. -
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Re: Competitive teacher
Wed, December 8, 2004 - 1:50 PMI was once told "The difference between obstacles and stepping stones is how we use them." Maybe her resistance is your obstacle that can become a stepping stone for you both. Keep doing what you are doing, keep her in the loop, keep the positive talk and positive thoughts flowing. Maybe, just maybe, you can wear down her resistance through a thorough, incessant drip of lovingkindness...and what would you lose by that? You obviously have a lot of skills in the networking and communication areas, there must be a way that this can work for you as well. Don't give up! -
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Re: Competitive teacher
Sat, February 12, 2005 - 8:22 AMHi, we are talking about a topic very similar to the one you brought up over on the OreintalDancer.net board. I wanted to know how many teachers were in a person’s community and was it a community feeling among different teachers or were there deep divisions… Many interesting stories so far…
About your situation – IMO you don’t need to ask anyone’s permission to teach a class. Informing your teacher of your plans to teach is polite and the thing to do. But asking implies your actions will be based on her approval and acceptance of your decision. This can of course be instrumental – if you are a beginner who has no business teaching some guidance from your teacher to hold off could hopefully go a long way. But if you are qualified and competent you can run into brick wall if the teacher in question doesn’t want the balance of power upset – you are my student not my peer or is insecure and jealous etc. etc. I also don’t think it’s your duty to make her ‘see the light’. Calling on your higher self and behaving ethically and diplomatically certainly. Making it clear that the door is always open (if it is) great. But I wouldn’t invest huge energy and effort into eliciting her co-operation. She’ll do that on her own if and when she chooses to.
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